Ahhh, Halloween, the funniest holiday of the year. Well at least according to these people.
“Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, ‘Never take candy from strangers.’ And then they dressed me up and said, ‘Go beg for it.’ I didn’t know what to do! I’d knock on people’s doors and go, ‘Trick or treat…No, thank you.'”
—Rita Rudner
“I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.”—Anonymous
“I don’t know that there are real ghosts and goblins, but there are always more trick-or-treaters than neighborhood kids.” —Robert Brault
“Proof of our society’s decline is that Halloween has become a broad daylight event for many.” —Robert Kirby
“The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It’s unbelievable to me. Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America that’s never been advertised. And there’s a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. And so, since nobody eats that stuff, every year there’s a ton of it left over.” —Lewis Black
And a Halloween recipe. No, not for candy, that’s what Target is for. Years ago, my mom started the tradition of making chili for Halloween. It’s easy, can be kept warm in a big pot for people who are coming and going, and doesn’t taste any worse when you have to get up between bites to answer the door for trick or treaters.
There is no easier or more delicious way to make chili than using a jar of Tabasco Chili Starter. Brown a pound of ground meet, dump the jar in, add a jar’s worth of liquid (beer, water, or tomato juice) and a can of beans. That’s it. It’s perfectly seasoned with just the right consistency.
The trick (yes, it’s a pun) is finding the Tabasco jars. I’ve had luck sometimes at Sprouts, Oliver’s Meats on 6thAvenue, and occasionally Safeway, but they are all hit or miss. As of this writing, everyone’s favorite problem solver, Jeff Bezos, had 6 six-packs available on Amazon Prime. It’s not too late!
Happy Halloween, Witches!
