Sure, Twitter is the place where internet trolls and certain politicians go to make people cry. But it can also be where people show off their wittiest writing. Enjoy these funny comments about Halloween. *
U can give out anything on Halloween it doesn’t have to be candy last year I gave a kid my cable bill it was awesome he paid it & everything
For Halloween should I be Girl In Sweats Ordering Chinese Food or Girl In Pajamas Ordering Pizza?
My daughters used to wear inappropriately sexy costumes for Halloween but now that they’re 16 they only dress that way all the time.
For Halloween this year I’m going as a fatter version of myself last year.
Halloween is coming up and I still have no idea what I’m going to be for the rest of my life.
Halloween is my favorite holiday where you can trespass on a stranger’s property and make a non-negotiable demand.
idea for haunted house: dimly lit grocery store sprinkled with people you haven’t talked to since high school
Note from Kristi: Bad punctuation is apparently normal on Twitter. It took all my willpower not to correct these, but I wanted to keep it real.