Ah, the New Year. Time to start fresh and do all the things you meant to do last year. If one of your promises is to laugh more (a good vow if ever there was one) look no further than your clever friends on Twitter.
“My new year’s resolution is never to be on my phone in front of my kids. It’s going to be tough, but I think I can do it – I’m just really gonna miss my kids.”
“This past year I went to the gym four times, and my New Year’s resolution is to cut that number in half.”
“My wife asked me what my New Year’s resolution is going to be. I shrugged.
My wife said that her New Year’s resolution is for her to eat ‘clean’, which means she has decided that my New Year’s resolution is also going to be that I eat ‘clean’.”
“My New Year’s resolution is to be more efficient. So I’m giving up on it right now instead of wasting all January acting like I can achieve it.’
“Broke my resolution and have been through the Taco Bell drive-thru three times already”
Happy New Year!