“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.”—Victor Borge.
“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.”—Andy Borowitz.
“A Hanukkah miracle would be feeling confident that you spelled Hanukkah correctly” – anonymous
“Most Texans think of Hanukkah as some sort of a duck call” – Richard Lewis.
“The principal advantage of the non-parental lifestyle is that on Christmas Eve you need not be struck dumb by the three most terrifying words that the government allows to be printed on any product: ‘Some assembly required.’ “ – John Leo